yani’s hunger

I rarely load credit to my prepaid phone lately since I never really get to maximize everything and the load credit always end up expiring with still substantial value on it left unused. Or worse, out of the blue, that load vanishes in thin air without even knowing it did. Actually the latter reason was the main beef I have while I rarely use my phone nowadays. I hate the feeling of being cheated again so I avoid suffering the same fate I had seven months ago.

on a desperate hope

On my way to work this morning, my mind wanders again on how this daily routine has been constantly “killing” me. As the day pass by doing things that are becoming too monotonous to get me excited about, my life gets more boring to a record-breaking level now. As I am brisk walking, my mind again wonders what I am doing with my life. For five years and counting, I am stuck to a company I wanted to leave for five years and counting also. I am waiting for the moment when “Patience is a virtue” would actually come to terms with my situation. I have been desperate this last few days but it is still not happening. Then I thought of the opportunity I have taken, it seems that I will still have to wait a little more time. Another year in my work station seems to be the idea. While I can still hold on, I just can’t wait to jump out.

So I go with the routine. Log in to my already booted pc then open the email database. Stand up and go to the pantry and stay there for as long as I can. Drink water. Eat. Have a little chat with the messengers. Then go back to the barracks.

I scanned on the emails I received during the weekend. It seems all are spams – all five of them. I was ready to delete them one by one (I don’t want to mass delete them since I want to let the time pass by actually doing something and not just staring at the monitor) when one email caught my attention.

pet peeve number one

maybe i am just making a big deal about it but i am still ticked whenever media (or anyone at that) call the northern provinces of cagayan and isabela as cagayan valley and isabela province, respectively. it’s as if the official names of those provinces are such and calling them merely cagayan and isabela will make anyone lost.

okay, the idea of adding “valley” in the province of cagayan is to distinguish it from the city of cagayan de oro in misamis oriental (down south). and adding “province” in isabela is to distinguish it from the city of isabela in basilan (also down south). but why do we need such distinction? to reduce confusion? i don’t think so. the more i have been confused with the idea. who should i follow now, what my teachers thought me, from the books i read, and what i have known since i was born or the things the media is telling us. unless there are changes in things i have not known.

stuck on a weekend

Saturday (and Sunday) was a TV marathon for me as I have it planned. Although I have already known the results of the two favorite reality shows, I wanted to see it’s weekend replays. First was the three hour finale of Survivor: Tocantins, then there’s the performance replay of the American Idol finale. Then I also waited for the return of Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

lost

I know exactly where the place is. It is very much familiar to me as I pass be the place everytime I go to work. I thought that by getting directly to the place will save me time and effort. When I am already there, even if it was my first time to be there, my instinct will guide me where road to take. Just when I thought I will get familiar with the place when I am already at the point and just when I thought everything will fall into place, I got lost. Here’s how it goes.

From my friends place where I have been only for the first time last week, I took a jeepney bound to Tandang Sora. Having to pass by Commonwealth Av everyday, I know where Tandang Sora is. What I am not sure is that if the place I know is a barangay, a district, or a road. But I took the gamble.

realizations and secrets revealed

Recently, a batchmate has invited me on their son’s birthday. Since I have nothing to do on that day, I decided to go. Actually, it was not a difficult for me to be convinced to go at the party even if there are household chores I have to leave home. Those things can wait. It has been a long while when the idea of meeting up with the batch and catch up with other’s lives. Only, everyone has been busy eversince and the meetup with majority present was never been achieved. The initial planning happened two years back and everytime the idea is brought out in the e-group mail, it seems the topic is something new and yet at the end of the day, everything is back in square one. I thought that the venue would be a perfect start to start things up with our batch’s much delayed get-together.

But there was no batch get-together happened.

Ten: My best pre-school memories

Those were the days when pre-school education was not as prevalent as it is today just yet. There would be a year or two where our parents would leave us to the custody of our grandparents. Our parents then will go back home for work. This would be the time when we are still young but old enough to be weaned from our parents. We are about four to six years old then. I remember them when they are leaving us telling they would not take long and they would go back right away. They tell that would just be away for a week. But a week then was equivalent of five months. We would see them back during Christmas break and much longer on summer season.

There would be days that we would miss our parents but young as we are we would easily divert our homesickness (if there was such in our vocabularies) to the different activities available for us to explore. The following were the best memories of my pre-school years:

Swimming by the river or at the sea –

Idol-mania in Manila

I was very careful yesterday surfing the net making sure I will be clicking any link that would tell me who was eliminated in the show. I even went out so I will not be tempted to see the news online so that when I see it on tv I will still be surprised with the result – whether or not it is a good news for me.

I was not prepared to know that my bet have gotten the least number of votes thereby leaving the show one week too early. While I am still optimistic that he has 66.67 percent of making it, there is also a large 33.33 per cent he won’t be lucky enough to survive.

Okay I was not successful on making myself unaware of the result as I have heard it on the radio that there will be a “shocker” result.

’sup

the existence of this space is given. but the drive is something i am still seeking to give me the kick. and restart the run. there are interesting things that happened to me for the last few weeks that i need to document. these moments will define me in the future. still, i am… uninspired to put those things into words. things just happen and it’s really disappointing when you can’t even tell yourself what has just gone by. frustrating, really.

held back

14 years

time flies too fast. those long years were the last time i stepped out of high school and pursue whatever dreams i have for myself that time. whatever happened in those period makes me a different person but not necessarily what i have been aspiring to be then.

reunions

for the first few years after leaving, i somehow had the urge to reconnect with my batch. but as the years goes by, it dawned to me that getting connected will be difficult – close to impossible. after a while, i realized everyone’s has moved on and so i should follow the lead.

going back

time will come that i have to but how can i go back when i have yet to venture in a longer journey. i’ve gone far but not far enough to decide to return.

not now, i’ve got to go ahead. not head back once again.