I am not sure if this is right for me to do so – giving my piece of advice to you. Two things. One is appropriateness. I know we known each other for some time now but I am not sure on how you view me as a person. Am I considered your friend or just mere acquaintance. It is hard to draw the line since you seems to be an open book to everybody that despite you recounting to me some of your woes and triumphs on a personal level, I consider the fact that such confidence is also related to almost everyone out there and not only to those I know you consider friends. Your sociable persona is somehow deceiving and I don’t want to be part of the trap where I consider myself as part (a very close one that is) of your social circle when in fact I am not even within the parameter of who you consider your buddy.
Then there’s the experience. How can I give my piece of mind in a situation where I am not familiar with on a personal level? Mine are not even close to any of your dealings despite of me being older by more than half a decade. But then I might as well stab at it. Just consider this an option.
I have known you as an intelligent person and I still believe you are despite the seems to be misguided decisions you have been making lately. Your declarations one month ago seems to be changed by one reunion. But in spite of that meeting, you reaffirmed your commitment to what we consider as the moral thing to do just last week. But I see you seems to be reigniting the flame with yet another meeting. And I am afraid I just don’t understand the logic of the things you are going through right now. I don’t want to judge you for making this recklessness into your relationships. I know that your decisions are something you have thought about for long time. Or did you? Still who am I to tell you that what you have done is wrong. Only time would tell what could happen if you continue making a resolution of what you think is the right thing to do.
For the record though, I am with the thought that you already have done the right thing before and I say that you just continue to rightfully suffer the consequences of your actions. It is the noble way of living a life in the eyes of everyone around you. You and her would suffer but you have already have it that happening when you both agreed that you are going on a direction where you would no longer see each other and face a new life apart. Don’t go back and complicate things.
Then again, I am for your happiness and if you think that you are ready to face the things had you made the “right” decision two years past then be it. I am not sure if how this will go and even now, I pity the one that will be hurt by your choice. She doesn’t deserve to be wounded this way. Not by your imperfect way of viewing of things. But if you were true in relating your situation right now, I know she is already suffering and the time together with you not doing your share in making the relationship go where it suppose to be will only make it worse for her. And I understand the time is now that she needs to get her freedom. IF ever you decided to drop the bomb on her.
I suppose you don’t want her hurt and at the same time you want your happiness as well. If only she will find her own space out of your life, eh? If only I can give that space. Okay, I am crossing a line that I understand not to suppose to do so. And I digress.
Seriously though, have you considered her falling in love again to another person other than yourself? Given the chance, will let her be or much more, have it your way in letting her meet other person out there that could be more deserving of her love. That would be a win-win situation I suppose. But that will not going to happen, will it?
I see you are not looking to that possibility. I observe you got a big ego and nothing bad about that. Sometimes I have been the recipient of such attitude but I can’t blame you with that. But the world don’t revolve on you like what you might believe it to be. People change without you having to notice it. This could happen to a person you thought loved you so much only you can’t reciprocate. It’s something you will have to accept if it comes.
The decision is yours to make. Have a good one.